Noisy People

 

            Ramblings of a Retired Mind

                                        Noisy People

At my age, I get it—some of us struggle with hearing and end up speaking louder just to hear ourselves think. That makes sense. But then there are the naturally loud talkers—the ones with no concept of volume control. Those are the ones who really get under my skin.

I’ve got a bone to pick with the steady invasion of unwanted noise in my world. How many times can someone excuse it with, “Oh, they don’t realize they’re being loud”? Please. If I can understand every word of your conversation from across a football field, you’re not just being loud—you’re broadcasting.

Many people fall squarely into the “too-loud” category. This is true of both sexes; it is not regulated to just one sex. And I know I’m not alone. We all hear it. We all notice. But most of us are just too polite to say anything. Sometimes I wonder, how big are these people's lungs! 

I know what you all are thinking, what about those quiet talkers, the ones who whisper and force you to ask, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Well, I agree those are annoying too. But I am here to talk about the loud ones today.

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The Neighbor and His Blasting Bass

One neighbor back in Chicago in particular, had perfected the art of ignoring everyone else. Rules? Those were for other people. When he wants to blast his music, that’s exactly what he does—never mind the rest of the neighborhood. If he wanted to bring his drum set out on the driveway at 10 pm, then he would do so, "It's my right!" I have always wondered why their rights supersede anyone else's. 

In my old neighborhood, all anyone heard was the bass. Was it the Beatles? The Stones? Cheap Trick? Who knows. It’s just thump after thump.

I’m a music lover myself. Few things move me like Phantom of the Opera. But I don’t feel the need to share it at stadium volume through outdoor speakers. I once mentioned the issue to the neighbor’s wife. She promised he’d stop. And he did... until she left for work. Then the music came back louder than ever.

Have we forgotten that headphones and earbuds exist? The technology is right there, people! Using earbuds is what I call considerate—and empathetic.

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The Car Stereo Wars

Let’s talk car stereos. If I’m sitting at a red light and all I can hear is your bass thumping through my floorboards, we have a problem.

In the summer, I love driving my Mini Cooper Convertible, top down, with music that stirs memory and emotion. But the joy vanishes the moment someone pulls up beside me with windows down and speakers blasting. Suddenly, all I hear is boom-boom-boom. Music should lift the spirit—not rattle your organs.

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Exhausted by Exhaust

Then there are the vehicles with no mufflers—or ones modified to be as loud as legally possible. I understand the thrill of a motorcycle ride, but why must it be ear-splitting?

Sometimes I think the government should just ban them outright. Would I say that to a Hell’s Angel? No way. I may be grumpy, but I’m not suicidal.

The solution is simple: electric vehicles. I get it—they don’t sound cool. The electric Harley hasn't exactly caught on. But come on, is there anything more jarring than a Harley roaring through a peaceful national forest?

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The Whistler

Now let’s address a quieter—yet somehow equally annoying—form of noise: the mindless whistler.

You know the one. You’re in the grocery store, minding your own business, when you hear it: a short, tuneless whistle. Not a melody. Not even a recognizable rhythm. Just noise.

And for the record, I’ve never seen a woman do this. Never! I’ve also never heard a woman belch or pass gas in public. It’s just one more reason I prefer the company of women: they’re less annoying.

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The Truth Is... It’s Been a Lifetime of Noise

As I think back, I realize this isn’t a new problem. In my teen years, it was my father shouting, “Turn that racket down! You call that music?” And now, here I am—saying the same thing.

But here’s the truth:

• I can’t stop people from blasting their radios.

• I can’t tell random strangers to stop whistling in Walmart.

• I can’t convince the neighborhood to buy an EV, and Harleys do not come with a soundproof mode.

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And Finally… The Speakerphone Offenders

Before I go, a parting thought: is there anything worse than someone loudly singing the wrong lyrics to a song?

Actually, yes.
It’s the person who insists on using speakerphone in public, turning a private conversation into a two-sided show for everyone to hear.

And then… the moment of truth.

Just this past Monday, in Safeway, I heard a short, aimless whistle.
I looked around to find the culprit…
And realized—it had come from me.

Oh no!

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is entirely coincidental.